Felicia's Second Life Volume 1: I don't want to be violent yet it's the only way Read online

  This is a work of fiction. Similarities to real people, places, or events are entirely coincidental.

  FELICIA'S SECOND LIFE

  First edition. January 14, 2016.

  Copyright © 2016 Shiina Ai.

  Written by Shiina Ai.

  Table of Contents

  Title Page

  Copyright Page

  Dedication

  Table of Contents

  Preface

  Acknowledgements

  Prologue | How I Became Felicia Belphere Metrune

  Chapter 1 | My Noble Family Is Poor? | Early Life

  Chapter 2 | Let’s Start A Revolution!

  Chapter 3 | Bandits & Scoundrels | The Ransom Expedition

  Chapter 4 | Let’s Interrogate The Bandits! (No Torture Involved)

  Chapter 5 | A Sailing We Will Go

  Chapter 6 | A Romantic Vacation In Lytis

  Chapter 7 | Barmaid Felicia & The Glutton

  Chapter 8 | Those Bloody Nobles!

  Chapter 9 | A Late Night Bath

  Chapter 10 | A Naval Stomping

  Felicia's Second Life Side Story | The Prince's Forgotten Night

  Epilogue | The Souvenir From Lytis

  Afterword

  Sign up for Shiina Ai's Mailing List

  About the Author

  For mom and dad. Thank you for putting up with me all this while.

  Table of Contents

  Preface1

  Acknowledgements4

  Prologue5

  How I Became Felicia Belphere Metrune

  Chapter 114

  My Noble Family Is Poor?

  Chapter 221

  Let's Start A Revolution!

  Chapter 332

  Bandits & Scoundrels

  Chapter 466

  Let’s Interrogate The Bandits! (No Torture Involved)

  Chapter 5116

  A Sailing We Will Go

  Chapter 6155

  A Romantic Vacation In Lytis

  Chapter 7189

  Barmaid Felicia & The Glutton

  Chapter 8207

  Those Bloody Nobles!

  Chapter 9251

  A Late Night Bath

  Chapter 10272

  A Naval Stomping

  Side Story313

  The Prince’s Forgotten Night

  Epilogue327

  The Souvenir From Lytis

  Afterword335

  Preface

  Get hit by a truck and journey to a world where swords, triremes and a bunch of weird fauna and difficult people make life annoying and hard. Travel from a backwater barony at the mouth of a huge river to a northern city where people have more money than sense. Raise a fiefdom from the ground up, beat up sword-wielding bandits with guns and scam nobles of their money like a boss. The possibilities are endless!

  No, there’s no magic, at least not the showy types that throws flames and ice shards. No, there are no dragons either. No, there are no orcs, nor are there goblins. Just because it’s another world doesn’t mean it has to have dragons or orc or goblins. If I live long enough to write future volumes, you may expect birdwomen and mermaids, though.

  This book was originally written following a dream I had two or three years back. At that time I already had one foot in the literary scene, writing for a group of friends who enjoyed my writing, however boring it was. Of course, there was nothing much to brag about, except for knowing that at least some people enjoyed my writing. As I was an amateur, it likely wouldn’t mean much to most people, but it was a great boost of confidence. Praises help an author raise confidence, while constructive criticisms help the author improve their writing skills. For this, I have to thank my readers and commenters at Bigcloset and Storiesonline who were not short of either.

  Well, back to the dream. It was as I woke up that I thought, “This is it!” It was a ‘eureka’ moment, you see. After typing it into my laptop, which I rarely shut down even when I sleep, I realized that this was going to be my debut. I immediately wrote the first two chapters and posted it on Bigcloset (because this is the genre they specialize in) and it was well welcomed by the readers. Then I spent a week mapping out the story from chapter 3 up to chapter 300.

  That’s like, 26 separate arcs. You can tell the difference from reading the story. The first two arcs (not including the prologue) was the first arc, so you can tell the different style between the first two chapters and the later chapters. Contrary to what is shown here, the prologue was not the introduction, the first two chapters was. The prologue was originally one of the side stories, placed at the back. Somebody complained though, he said, “Why would you put the prequel after the story? It should be in front!” I admit, he was right, so that was how the first side story became the prologue.

  By the way, I’m not British. I only chose Cornwall for Malcolm’s hometown because it sounds delicious. I love corn. Corn is delicious and filling. Go corn!

  Okay, back on topic. Publishing Felicia’s Second Life proved to be a very daunting experience.

  For one, I had to find an editor. Finding a good editor is hard. I’m lucky that I have Eric helping me. I don’t know what I would’ve done without Eric.

  Then I had to hire an illustrator. I know I could’ve just used stock images which would’ve been cheaper, but that would give the impression that this book is something serious, which it isn’t most of the time. Also, I wanted to get a cover that would appeal to light novel (which this novel is), manga and young adults readers. Then I had to turn it into a book cover, which I paid someone else to do. Sorry, but I have zero artistic sense.

  Then comes to the part about turning this into an ebook. I read smashwords guide half-way. I felt like I wanted to hang myself. No offense Mark Coker, but that was too long! I suppose it helped if you’re a full time ebook-making service, but it was a completely daunting experience for a noob like me.

  Last was making the map. Suffice to say I have never been a map expert. Making a map is hard. Unfortunately I have to do it myself, because I don’t have the budget to hire someone else to do it for me.

  I want to cry.

  Well anyway. Hope you enjoy the story. Please look forward to Felicia’s Second Life Volume 2.

  Shiina Ai

  Acknowledgements

  Eric Naftaly, my editor who helped me improve this story to this point. You have to pity him for having to work with my terrible grammar and chaotic sentence structure.

  The admins, my readers and commenters at Bigcloset and Storiesonline. Without you guys, I would have probably never written anything.

  My parents, for their understanding and help in finishing this book.

  My best friend, Ahmad Hizami for helping me when I needed it the most. Without his help, I would likely not have any opportunity to publish this book.

  My pals at Novelupdates for keeping me entertained when I was all stressed out.

  Lots of thanks to CaptScott at deviantart for the awesome brushes. I would never have been able to finish the map without those awesome resources.

  My readers and commenters at my blog for making me feel like this thing can actually sell.

  Thanks a lot everyone! Most of all, thank YOU for buying this book. You guys are the best!

  Prologue

  How I Became Felicia Belphere Metrune

  I am Malcolm Stokes, Cornwall born, Cornwall bred but London dead. I am a 29 years old Assistant Professor of Ancient and Medieval History, with no wife, no children and presently, no girlfriend. Not that I actually need one. I'm fine with being alo
ne. I did have a few girlfriends, but they all paled in comparison to 2D girls. Just why can't real women be as perfect as anime and manga girls?

  Ah yes, even though I look like a respectable man, I'm actually an anime otaku. Imagine, highly respected professor at day, creepy anime otaku who hugs anime pillows at night. Well, that was my life anyway. So saying that I was creepy might’ve been masochistic of me.

  Just look at any anime and you’ll likely see one or two crazy characters. While they are crazy, they are also crazy adorable. Perhaps that was why I looked for a crazy girlfriend. Yes, I know there is a difference between fiction and reality. Regardless of that, I kept thinking, “What if there really is someone like those girls outside?”

  I found one, you know. Her name was Susan. She wasn’t the adorably crazy type, but she was a fun crazy type. Considering how boring my life was, with only anime and mangas as my companion, her appearance put some fun in my life. Spontaneous and crazy, my life with her was pretty colourful.

  At first, at least. Then her craziness went up a notch. As the weeks passed by, she went past crazy and into the realm of insane. It was when I realized that she was psychotic and not the adorable yandere type I was looking for that I made a decision to dump her.

  Ah, by the way, a yandere girlfriend is a kind of loyal and devoted girlfriend who is madly and crazily in love with you that she’s willing to kill her opponents for your affection.

  Adorable, right?

  It was a big mistake. She wasn’t a yandere. She was just psychotic.

  The next day I was hit by a truck in front of my home in north London. It was a hit and run. She didn't even bother to get out of her truck and laugh at my misfortune. How I found out that it was her truck? It was the colour. I'd recognize that anywhere.

  That damned Susan. She didn’t even observe basic human courtesy. At least call an ambulance for me!

  An empty space.

  Neither light nor dark.

  Neither white nor black.

  It was simply an empty space.

  All I could see was myself.

  From the distance, I could see a truck speeding straight at me. In my mind, I have already imagined that I would suffer another hit and run. What a stupid way of dying twice in a row.

  “Hello!” a cute female voice greeted as the truck stopped incredibly close to my face. It was probably less than three centimetres distance between my knees and the front bumper of the truck. It might be important to inform that my legs had frozen from fright.

  “Err... hello,” I replied with a greeting of my own.

  “It seems like you're dead,” she stated the obvious fact.

  “That was my first thought too,” I acknowledged the obvious fact.

  “Allow me to assure you that you're not dreaming,” she stated a dubious fact.

  “That thought came second,” I said in reply.

  “Well, you've lived a boring life,” she stated a terribly hurtful fact.

  “... I don't want to be told that by an old truck,” I bit back.

  “Old truck? I'll have you know I'm only 3,594 years old!” she stated a shocking fact.

  “Shouldn't you have rusted over by now?” I stated something that should’ve been obvious this time.

  Did they even have trucks over 3000 years ago? Realistically speaking, there shouldn’t be any trucks 3500 years ago. They could have mule-driven open air carriages, if you would consider the possibility of Sumerians having more advanced carriage designs compared to what archaeology could prove to exist during that time period. On the other hand, if you are someone who believe in ancient aliens theory, like that crazy man with strange hairstyle who kept saying ‘aliens’ on History Channel, you can say it’s possible..

  Sorry, nerd-speak. I sometimes bore people off with my over-analysing habit. Please carry on.

  “How rude!” With a poof, the truck turned into a young girl.

  “...” That was strange...

  “How do you like me now, huh? This tight thighs, this tiny waist, this figure sculpted to perfection, if you had known the value of trucks, this is how you would perceive my appearance!”

  “... I have neither a fetish for trucks nor for little girls.”

  I think she has probably mistaken a sports car for a truck. Shouldn’t a person based on a truck look somewhat thick? No, I’ve never seen a transforming truck before, so this is just a conjecture.

  “I'm not a little girl, I'm 3,594 years old!” She reminded me again.

  “Isn't that what you'd call a loli grandma?” I kept hearing that word being spoken in the otaku community, something like the loli vampire from Negima.

  “I'm not a grandma! Aren't you over 46,000 years old yourself? You're way older than me!”

  That’s news to me!

  “You must have mixed me up with someone else. If I have lived for such a pointlessly long time, I'd end up killing myself out of boredom.”

  “Such a boring guy! Not only is your life story boring, your attitude is boring too!”

  “I don't want to be told that by a flat-chested loli grandma.”

  “Haa? As an otaku, have you never heard the phrase 'Flat Is Justice'? This is justice!” She pushed out her ironing board chest.

  “Sorry, I'm in the big breasts faction. You know, plot.”

  “What? Those floppy things! Hanging around every time they move, what's so good about those balloon-like things?”

  “The plot of land, of course. Big breasts are a man's hopes and dreams.”

  “Eeyaaa! Don't say something so lewd to a young lady!”

  “Your loud voice is too annoying. Aren't you too old to be a 'young lady', despite your flat chest? I pity how that chest had remained flat for 3000-something years. Besides that, aren't you an old truck?”

  “Eeyaaa! How dare you make fun of a lady's age! For this insult, I'm going to have you reborn as a flat-chested girl! Suffer! Hahahaha!”

  Ah... I may have said something unnecessary.

  The next thing I saw was a baby.

  Eh? A baby? Where did that loli grandma go off to?

  Such a cute baby. Is it a girl or a boy? Oh it's looking at me with those bright green eyes. Oh, it's trying to touch me. How cute!

  I tried to reach the baby's hand, but why did it feel strange? I tried moving my hand, but it felt so cumbersome. So awkward!

  What’s with these small, short and... wait... am I a baby too?

  Hold on, didn't I die?

  Eh wait, please stop the spinning, I'm feeling dizzy.

  “Come here, Felicia. Come to mother,” a beautiful woman knelt on the floor that was covered in some kind of fur. She spoke with such a kind and gentle voice that I crawled towards her as if hypnotized.

  “Good girl! You're a very good girl, Felicia.” The woman picked me up once I reached her hands. She rubbed her face against mine while hugging me tightly to her deliciously large bosom.

  It feels quite good. I've never been so close to such large breasts before. Or is it because I’m a baby?

  Wait, did she just call me Felicia? Also, did I hear something about a girl?

  “Ah, Terrens. You're home. Good timing, please hold Felicia for me, I need to run outside. Suin is late, I need to find out what happened.”

  The woman who called herself my mother shoved me into the arms of a boy who appeared to be around 9 to 10 years old. He had light brown hair and electric blue eyes. He wore some kind of overcoat and a very thick pair of glasses. He looked very flustered as he caught me from the hands of my 'mommy'.

  “Mother, I can't. I-I have to study,” the boy said. His arms felt so cold despite the layers of cloth between our skins.

  “Oh, it is fine to take a rest sometimes, Terrens,” the woman said as she ruffled his hair, “Take care of your little sisters, okay? I'm only going to be gone for a couple of hours. Lilicia is sleeping in the crib and if any of them cries for milk, there are some on the table. Don't forget to burp them.”

  The woman grabb
ed something that looked like a travelling cloak, wrapped it around her body and went out into the blizzard.

  Ah, no wonder the boy Terrens's skin feel so cold. It must be winter.

  Terrens raised me up with his young arms until our eyes were at the same level. He looked into my eyes as I looked into his, as if we were trying to reach deep into each other's souls. But in my case, I was only looking at his eyes. It was so clear, like glass, and its colour reminded me of expensive sapphires. It was very beautiful.

  Since we are supposed to be siblings, do I have the same eyes too?

  “A pity...”

  Pardon?

  “For you to die at such a young age. Your fate is cruel.”

  Well, I did die, but I wasn't at all young. Sure, I wasn't exactly old, but in the middle ages men at my age would've already had grandchildren, I'll have you know.

  “Why would you come to this world, Felicia? Why would you reincarnate into this fate? Is it because you had no choice?”

  Well, don't ask me such questions. How am I supposed to know?

  “Or is it because only you can do this?”

  What is it that I'm supposed to do, actually? What fate?

  “You are my sister. Regardless of who you were before, just remember, you and Lilicia are both my sisters. I will not let your fate cut your lives short. I will find a way. Before it ends, I will find a way.”

  Wait, life cut short? Are you saying I'm going to die young this time?

  “Even if I have to make a contract with the deep spirits. Even if I will be cursed for my whole life. I will NOT let your fate win. You shall find happiness in this life. That is my vow as your older brother, Felicia. Lilicia too. You will both find happiness. I will find a way.”

  The world spins again. The feeling of Terrens's cold hands disappeared from under me. For many seconds, or perhaps centuries, my body floated inside a tunnel of time. Every time the clock turned, my body aged, little by little.

  Within the tunnel of time, I saw with my own eyes, a boy with similar looks to Terrens, but younger than him playing a prank on me with a spider and a dead snake. I had no control over my actions. So I could only watch as the girl jumped and sought comfort in the arms of a maid.